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 Post subject: About myself.
PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 2:36 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 12, 2008 10:36 am
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Location: Canada
Keep in mind I am a computer junkie/nerd but I was not always.. pretty hard to have a computer living outside in the streets like an animal. But I was very social once... that on the streets is a must have skill. I guess when I got off the streets I just hid in my home. Half licking my wounds half looking for an escape from a world that seems completely insane from where I seen things most my life.

2:00 am in the morning bar rushes... and the people.... I would be embarrassed if I ever looked like that... and from my memories of foster parents and the smell of booze just makes me disgusted....

And sitting on the ground asking people for change... for most my youth.. I seen things you people wouldn't dream of being possible.

And then to be standing on a corner to see people in their cars...... holding a squeegie.. asking them if they want a clean window...for my young adult life... It took me awhile to develop mentally as it's seems foster care delayed all of that. I never matured.. I never understood how to have regard for others or myself.... I remember that.. and I remember the violence I felt... the anger the hurt the pain.... I remember wanting to hurt people and I had no idea why. I hated myself for years. I remember the self loathing, I remember the beatings..., I remember the pain. But maybe it was a sign... maybe it was fluke. Maybe it was god who knows... but something happened that changed my life... good or bad... I don't know I am still un-decided on that.....
But I finally got into the hard drugs and over dosed...

When I came too I can not even describe what it was like... I am not sure how.. it was a rude awakening.. their were no words in my head... it was just blank.... but I was aware... I Remember laying on the ground alone cold... and scared. I could not move. If I opened my eyes.. everything spun. I must have laid their for a day or two... it was hard to remember. Time, sound, light, my scrambled thoughts were all kinda smudged together..

Finally... out of nowhere this was this pop in my head.. and I came too...

I sat up... I had not eating in so long.... I was so hungry... I walked around... their was food... but no one would let me have any. I couldn't understand why.. then things kinda got clearer.. and the first thing I remember was I need money... at first I thought nothing of it... then slowly things came back.. where I was.. what had happened... but... I could not remember how I got there.. I don't remember why I was there.. I remember thinking.. where was my home? I just want to go home... but .. I could not remember... I could not remeber what city I was in. So I asked someone.. well I asked the wrong person.. and he called me a drug addict and punched me in the face... I didn't feel a thing. I grabbed him but the neck picked him right up off his feet. and went throw backwards then a quick image flashed in my mind of his head hitting the pavement.. and I felt bad.. so with the other arm I grabbed him.. and stomped him.. he ran away... and called me a freak...

Well I guess the pcp was still in my body. And I was pretty strong.. (A few days later my arms paid for it and wow were they ever sore, could not even hold a smoke to my mouth.)

Well I remember you could get food at a place.. sandwiches... so I walked there... And slow... memories of my life started to creep in. But they weren't my memories were they? Sadly they were. It was the most put you in your place thing a person could ever go threw... I t was like someone was siting me down and showing me what a piece of shit I had become. Showed me the horrible things.. I did to my self and to others...

I ducked out into a park to start crying... something I had not done since I lost my parents... unless it was an act to get what I wanted. And I was forced to look at my life. The things I said to people who tried to help me along the way... the horrible choices that landed me on the streets... and kept me there. It had shown me I had given up... But I thought I liked it there... that whole time... the i started to remember more... and slowly..
Then I got to see why I had become that person. And I remembered foster care... and more and more and more.. I just felt inside I wanted to kill people... I could not believe what they had done to me... I watch me go from a cute 9 year old kid to a savage cold heart disgusting animal... then they released me onto the streets....

I remember I use to love transformers and ninja turtles... I remember how much I loved electronics... I remembered. I remembered a bum teaching me how to read.... Then I remember I loved computers... but I was so stupid I had no idea what to do with them.. back then.... I was soulless so curiosity was not one of my interests... I loath to think of what I was... but I can not remember that person.. I can't even begin to think of what had gone threw my minds for those years... I was acting on instinct hat whole time... not my inteligance... not common sense... I was ... an animal that had been locked in a cage and beatin and had turned vicious and dangerous I was (I learned that from a dog I rescued shortly after.) and I should have been behind bars.... not released into the public.. but thanks to a slimy lawyer and a stupid over paid dumbshit judge...
I was.... where I was lucky to survive...

You can't imagine how scary that is..... or maybe you can.. I don't know. I feel I have very little in common with most of you or know anything about except what I read on the internet when I began to reeducate myself and familiarize me with myself..(if that makes sense).... The idea that money was the first thing that came to my mind gives me an insight into the upper-class I didn't have before. And the core of what must drive them...

So I hid away on the internet the more I got to know about people the more I began to resent them... then it dawned on me... you people for the most part are more like I was then you will ever admit or see for yourself. I accept that. And it gives me understanding and takes from my anger.

The whole time this was happening I felt so off.. like I was missing something... then it hit me....
I was not missing anything. It was the exact opposite I had gained something.. a few things.. control.. and emotions. Maybe from my child hood they had been shut off as a defense mechanism not sure. But it kinda scared me. I knew I had to get a life and fix this mess I had gotten myself into but there was a problem. I was no longer ruthless or heartless. But something inside me kinda took over. And started to read about success stories in business and game design and all that kinda junk.. and studied... I had to grow up in a week. Finally I decided the only way I was gonna get off the streets was if I just left.

I hitchhiked to the only friend I could remember.... who I had not talked to in a long time... she was in school to become a vet. She had an amazing impact on me. She probably doesn't even know it. But I decided.. i was going to try college i didn't have my high school... but.. I didn't finish school because I couldn't... the day i would get the text book I would read the whole thing... and I just could not sit in class and pay attention..
I was super smart. I just didn't show anyone cause I didn't want them to expect that of me all the time.. so many parents so many different expectations that after awhile i figured out if i just played stupid I got the same expectations from every home.... mind you it sucked.. I wanted people to be proud of me but the only people I wanted or I was willing to make proud were my parents. Everyone else was my enemy... and I attacked them, bit them... threw stuff at them... and some how still after all of it they would eventually get me re-strained...

Well you can imagine how that didn't last long as I grew up... Suddenly I was a threat... and I made it clear they were my enemies... but I was still only a kid that they had turned into a very violent one by committing unspeakable crimes.... kids don't just get messed up all of a sudden... especially foster kids... how could it be a child's fault that grow up in care from 9 years old into a monster???

The relief.. I felt.. in this understanding that I hope to share with you who actually got here reading.
What and who I was was not my fault.. I was exactly what the foster care system was designed for..
To help us trap ourselves... and make me the violent criminal that makes you lock your doors and ask to get cameras in the streets and lose your own freedoms over. I will not be a tool of violence and fear to be unleashed into the public.. and to this day the streets are filled with those who were born and bread in the foster care system... and released into the streets. Why do you think they keep jails in the shape their in..????

I am proof we can be reformed.. but not in a jail locked in a cage with 40 others just like myself left to kill each other.. in what you people have come to call jails..

What I seen with all my time in jails was this.. a good person did a stupid thing and ends up in jail... by the time he comes out of the locked cage he is different.... the more trips... the more changes..

I am not telling you anything you didn't already know. What I am doing is unscrambeling the media..

I have a gift with code and computers that I know is unmatched... I see patterns in ways people could not even begin to understand. I can look at an image and take a picture in my mind. When you people use a user name and password for each page I bet you use the same one or two. I use one for every page. And I go to alot of sites downloading models and programs and scripts and forums and c++ forums etc etc etc.. I take a picture of the site in my mid but while I do it it focuses on one part and in the middle is that password...

And at any time I can recall it I can recall 6 at once if need be.

When I write code.. I don't write it line by line.. I am like the borg... I assimilate it... And copy and paste mix and match... I can do anything with anything and believe it or not ...... so can you. Right now most of you are plugged into the system... no no not a cord or plug in your head.. I mean you are surrounded by it. in your own homes you are surrounded in it.. it floods in threw your T.V's radio's, internet your children and even you.

With the internet thought something neat happened.. we gained control.. that was not what was supposed to happen. And now as you can see the big media boys are trying put an end to it...

All of our causes are the same... created by the same........... Those who would sell us to death to keep themselves in power by making this world into the most insane fuckin place that you will willingly let them put chips in your children... they will make you beg for it.... by making people like me.. (Was or not) force you into a corner... to give up your freedoms...

You can change how you think. In your homes in your lives you have no way to know what the world around you is like.

You don't have the time...

All you know is what you see in the streets and what the media tells you...


Tell me.. if we could make spaceship and leave... where do you think that would leave the rich and powerful and in control....

Give me 1million And I'll build you a real spaceship. and you can put it to the test. I can even make you a few simulations if you like... first..... might be hard with out THE PROPER INFORMATION. It might take me along time.. But get me smart people... and it might not..

So if I can do it...

I can only imagine what those with money and power... have built or tucked away....

Look around you and prove me wrong...

I sure would feel alot better...

What I was and who I am now is amazing and sad to me.

CPS stole me from my parents and turned me into an animal... Now that I have regained my humanity I will make those responsible pay very dearly...

No longer will they call themselves heroes. They are savage cold hearted monsters... who care nuthing for the lives they take or destroy.. with their greed and lies..

_________________
--------------------------------------------------------
Den største trusselen mot CPS er deres egne barn og sannhet. To bad media er slike cowards og nekte å hjelpe disse barna og familiene ...
www.systemvsbizzi.biz/fc/ (Under bygging)


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 Post subject: Re: About myself.
PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 8:59 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2006 1:02 am
Posts: 159
Bizziboy wrote:
CPS stole me from my parents and turned me into an animal...


That's why parents are fighting, and must fight for their children.

The children will be destroyed by child protection.

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Det finnes egentlig bare to typer etikk:
Psykopati og sannhet innpakket i kjærlighet
Fargene skyldes det som ikke er etikk...


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 Post subject: Mye godt lesestoff til i morgen
PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 10:46 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 4:18 pm
Posts: 1851
Location: Bergen


Hello Bizziboy!

Glad to see you here. It's quarter to 24.00 in Norway, and I have just discover your story, but I have to go to bed, and then I will read your story first thing tomorrow. :D :D


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 Post subject: ...
PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 1:07 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 12, 2008 10:36 am
Posts: 8
Location: Canada
Takk .... Jeg håper det vil bidra til å forklare hva CPS er og hva de gjør for barna de er ment å hjelpe.

Søvn hva er at lol .. i Canada min kampen er 24 / 7 dager i uken 365 dager i året .. Jeg vil sove når jeg er død eller systemer få løst. :)

Og Mona takket for invitasjonen. Jeg vil prøve å poste her så ofte som alle andre steder jeg bringer til bordet en unik utsikt ... i CPS, sannheten ........

_________________
--------------------------------------------------------
Den største trusselen mot CPS er deres egne barn og sannhet. To bad media er slike cowards og nekte å hjelpe disse barna og familiene ...
www.systemvsbizzi.biz/fc/ (Under bygging)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 10:06 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 22, 2006 1:40 pm
Posts: 978
Location: Vefsn
Quote:
Den største trusselen mot CPS er deres egne barn og sannhet. To bad media er slike cowards og nekte å hjelpe disse barna og familiene ...


Very sharp- "The biggest treath against cps is "their" own children"
- activate as many as possible of them- make them go public, and our path to our common aim will be shortened by many, many years.

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B.E.Bjorbekkmo
[size=75][color=red]
Gjør ALLTID og uten unntak opptak av møter, telefonsamtaler o.l. med BV etc[/color]
Dette har du lovlig og full adgang til iht [url=http://www.lovdata.no/all/tl-19020522-010-017.html#145a]straffelovens § 145a[/url], så lenge du selv deltar i samtalen.[/size]

[url=http://barnevernet.origo.no]Barnevern[/url]


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 11:55 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 12, 2008 10:36 am
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Location: Canada
Jeg arbeider på den. Men mest den mislykkede barna er enten i fengsel på gata eller døde ..

Ikke mange gjør det ut av fostre til å komme til andre sine erfaringer ... og de som vil få en langt unna som mulig fra den ... og ønsker å flytte på og glemme sitt mareritt ... Jeg kan ikke klandre dem. Men jeg synes det er litt feige og lav ikke å prøve å hjelpe når du vite sannheten.

_________________
--------------------------------------------------------
Den største trusselen mot CPS er deres egne barn og sannhet. To bad media er slike cowards og nekte å hjelpe disse barna og familiene ...
www.systemvsbizzi.biz/fc/ (Under bygging)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2008 8:23 am 
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Joined: Fri Dec 22, 2006 1:40 pm
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Location: Vefsn
Websites inform and gather.
Keep up the good work :)

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B.E.Bjorbekkmo
[size=75][color=red]
Gjør ALLTID og uten unntak opptak av møter, telefonsamtaler o.l. med BV etc[/color]
Dette har du lovlig og full adgang til iht [url=http://www.lovdata.no/all/tl-19020522-010-017.html#145a]straffelovens § 145a[/url], så lenge du selv deltar i samtalen.[/size]

[url=http://barnevernet.origo.no]Barnevern[/url]


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2008 9:14 am 
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Posts: 1293
Location: Stjørdal
Hei og velkommen Bizziboy!

I paid a quick visit to your youtube site and found some exciting new stuff and some stuff I allready know - like Ron Paul for president ( the president of USA is a matter of consern for all the people in the world).

Your story is very sad and full of hope at the same time - like the story of some of my kids friends - who were living in fosterhomes in my community - now in their 20-ies they all are struggling like you did. Your story make me belive they will overcome the troubles and survive.

Like John Taylor Gatto says:
The great destructive myth of the twentieth century was the aggressive contention that a child couldn’t grow up correctly in the unique circumstances of his own family.

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 Post subject: Done.
PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2008 1:59 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 4:18 pm
Posts: 1851
Location: Bergen


Now I have read your story, Bizzieboy, from A-Z, and I got tears in my eyes...

Many years ago I read a book whitch was quite similar to your story, Sverre Asmervik - Vi som fyller nettene - jeg gir den terningkast 7. PS: De har den på biblioteket.

There is a reason why I want to get rid of barnevernet and the child protection services as you see, and you are one of them. We, or, all the people who are so very concerned of children, can rather spend the money in the families, insted of paying fosterparents to take "care" of other peoples children.

The Norwegian jails are filled up with young people who have been brought up in fostercare and institusions. And they are suffering. Many of them also die in early age.

And their parents are in deep pain. And they also die in early age and commit suicide.

I am glad to see that you are still alive and are helping other people. We need to gather all around the world and to warn other people of how dangerous CPS and barnevernet are. Mabye on day the government will listen to us and get rid of this terror-regime.

And password? I have different passwords, and remember them all, because I am a "target".

Bizzieboy wrote this whitch made a great impression on me: "I wanted people to be proud of me but the only people I wanted or I was willing to make proud were my parents." -And that ment a lot to me. It tells me that I am on the right path.

Thank you!



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Signer OPPROP mot fylkesnemnda her!
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